Why search? You may hear this question asked many times. After all, you have a family; you relinquished your child. It's over. Get on with your life. Why search? The shortest answer would be: to feel complete, to be whole. Adoptees will speak of wanting to look like someone, wanting to belong, wanting to come from somewhere. First relatives will talk of the hole in their stomachs, the vacancy in their lives, the ache in their hearts. Why search? To be complete, to be whole. To get back what was lost. To put an end to the grief and loss. To fit, to belong.
We all started our searches somewhere and for different reasons. Some of us want to know that life for our child turned out well. Some of us want medical information. Some of us want to meet. In short, we want to know. And we want to know the truth.
As adults, we are expected to be responsible. Whether it is for a spouse and family, a pet, a career, we are adults and we are responsible. Many of those in authority do not seem to agree. Or even if they do, the laws have not been changed and were written in a way that makes us permanently children or eternally punished. Those laws are very old and reflect a time and attitude that is not current. Why search? Because we cannot wait for the law to be changed, and for us to be given what we want. What we want is precious and personal to us, and it is up to us as individuals to make a decision about what we will do. No matter how long it takes you to make a decision, or what your decision may be, it is the right one for you at this time.