Books That Resonate: Adoption Reads Recommended by Our Members
1. Adoption and Loss: The Hidden Grief by Evelyn Robinson
This powerful book explores the lifelong grief experienced by those separated by adoption. Evelyn Robinson, an Australian first mother, shares personal insight and clinical knowledge, bringing attention to the emotional cost of closed adoption systems.
2. Adoption and Recovery: Solving the Mystery of Reunion by Evelyn Robinson
A follow-up to Adoption and Loss, this book focuses on the emotional complexities of reunion. Robinson offers practical advice and therapeutic insight for navigating the delicate and often unpredictable path to reconnection.
3. Ever After: Fathers and the Impact of Adoption by Gary Coles
One of the few books focused on birth fathers, Ever After examines how adoption affects men whose children were placed for adoption. Based on years of experience and interviews, Coles gives voice to a rarely acknowledged group in adoption literature.
4. I Would Have Searched Forever by Sandra Musser
Musser’s memoir tells the story of her decades-long search for her daughter, placed for adoption in the 1960s. Honest and emotional, it’s a deeply personal look at a mother’s unwavering hope and the complicated nature of reunion.
5. Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience by Betty Jean Lifton
A groundbreaking classic in adoption literature, Lifton blends memoir, research and case studies to highlight the psychological toll of secrecy in adoption. She calls for honesty, transparency and reform.
6. Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton
In this follow-up to Lost and Found, Lifton delves deeper into the inner lives of adoptees. Drawing on psychology and narrative, she traces how adoption affects identity formation, self-worth and the search for belonging.
7. The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Verrier
A cornerstone of adoption psychology, this influential book argues that separation from a birth mother creates a deep emotional wound in adoptees. Verrier, a therapist and adoptive parent, explores how this trauma surfaces across the lifespan.
8. Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up by Nancy Verrier
This sequel to The Primal Wound focuses on adult adoptees, offering guidance for healing, growth and self-understanding. Verrier shares real-life stories and therapeutic tools to help adoptees reclaim identity and voice.
9. The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Based on dozens of interviews, this powerful oral history gives voice to women who were coerced into surrendering children for adoption in the postwar era. Fessler explores the cultural shame, loss and silence that shaped an entire generation.
10. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
Written by an adoptee, this accessible book helps adoptive parents understand the emotional needs of their children. Eldridge offers heartfelt advice to promote trust, empathy and open communication within adoptive families.
11. She Turned Her Head Away by Patricia Moffat
A moving memoir that chronicles the journey of search and reunion, Moffat explores her own adoption story and the emotional weight of being separated from her roots. It’s a story of longing, courage and connection.
Additional Reading
These titles have been recommended by adoptees and first families over the years. While some reflect earlier adoption practices or language, they continue to offer insight into the adoptee experience.
For Adoptees
Adoptee Trauma: A Counseling Guide for Adoptees, Carlini, Heather. (Saanichton, BC: Morning Side Publishing, 1993). ISBN 0969629516.
Adoption Healing, Soll, Joe. Gateway Press, Inc.
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self, by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schechter & Robin Marantz. (New York, NY: Anchor Books, 1992). ISBN 0-385-41426-9.
Coming Home to Self, Nancy Verrier, 2003.
Journey of the Adopted Self, Lifton, Betty Jean. Basic Books, 1994.
The Primal Wound, Verrier, Nancy. Gateway Press, Inc. 1993.
Twenty Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make, Eldridge, Sherrie. Pinon Press, 2003.
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish their Adoptive Parents Knew, Eldridge, Sherrie. Dell Publishing, 1999.
For First Mothers
These titles have been recommended by original Mothers adoptees over the years. While some may reflect earlier adoption practices or language, they continue to offer insight into the adoptee experience.
Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption, by Joe Soll and Karen Wilson Buterbaugh. (Gateway Press, 2003). ISBN 0-9678-3901-7
Beggars and Choosers, Solinger, Rickie. Hill & Wang 2001.
Birth Mother Trauma: A Counseling Guide for Birth Mothers, by Heather Carlini. (Saanichton, BC: Morningside Publishing, 1992). ISBN: 0969629508
Fallen Women, Problem Girls, Kunzel, Regina. Yale University Press, 1993.
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade, Fessler, Ann. (Penguin, 2007). ISBN 0-1430-3897-4.
Gone to an Aunt’s, Petrie, Anne. McClelland & Stewart, 1998.
The House with the Broken Two: A Birthmother Remembers, by Myrl Coulter. (Vancouver, Canada, Anvil Press, 2011), ISBN 978-1-897535-72-1.
Sacred Bond: The Legacy of Baby M, Chesler, Phyllis. First Vintage Books, 1988.
Shedding Light on the Dark Side of Adoption, Riben, Marsha. Harlow Press, 1988.
Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race Before Roe v. Wade, Solinger, Rickie. Routledge, 2000. ISBN 0-41592-676-9.
Personal Stories
Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies For Adoption Tell Their Stories, by Merry Bloch Jones. (iUniverse, 2000). ISBN 059500637X.
The Box in the Closet: My Journey to Claim who I am by Margaret Singleton
Blackbird: A Childhood Lost and Found by Jennifer Lauck
Chasing Away the Shadows: An Adoptee’s Journey to Motherhood, by Zara Phillips. (Zara Music, 2004). ISBN 0976266105.
The English American, Larkin, Alison. Simon & Schuster, 2008.
Finding Family, Ousten, Rick Newstar Books Ltd., 1994.
The Gift Wrapped in Sorrow: A Mothers Quest for Healing, by Jane Guttman. ( JMJ Publishing, 1999). ISBN 0967286107.
Ithaca, Saffian, Sarah. Basic Books, 1998.
Looking for Lost Bird, Melanson, Yvette. Avon Books, 1999.
Looking Back, Moving Forward: A Birthmother’s Journey, by Sharon Lynn Darwent Bouchard. (Frederick, MD: PublishAmerica, 2003). ISBN 1413708781.
My Secret Sister, by Helen Edward
The Other Mother: A True Story, Schaefer, Carol. Soho Press, 1992. ISBN 0939149753.
Reunion, Allen, Madelene. Stoddard Publishing Co. Limited, 1992.
Reunion: A Year in Letters Between a Birthmother and a Daughter She Couldn’t Keep, Hern, Katie and Ellen McGarry Carlson. Seal Press, 1999. ISBN 1580050301.
Surrendered Child: A Birthmother’s Journey, by Karen Salyer McElmurray. (University of Georgia Press, 2006). ISBN-10: 0820328235.
Swimming Up the Sun, Burton, Nicole. Apippa Publishing Company, 2008.
Torn From the Heart: A Story of a Mother’s Search, by Louise Jergens. (Fairfield, CT: Aslan Publishing, 1992). ISBN 0944031447.
Twice Born, Lifton, Betty Jean. St. Martin’s Griffin, rev. ed. 1998.
Without a Map, Hall, Meredith. Beacon press, 2008.
Yesterday They Took my Baby, Wicks, Ben. Stoddart Publishing Co. Limited, 1993.
For Adoptive Parents
The Primal Wound, Verrier, Nancy. Gateway Press, Inc., 1993.
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish their Adoptive Parents Knew, Eldridge, Sherrie. Dell Publishing, 1999.
Fiction
Brother & Sister, Trollope, Joanna. McArthur & Company, 2004.
Can You Wave Bye, bye, Baby?, Gasco, Elyse. McClelland and Stewart, 1999.
Evil Exchange, by Lori Paris and Joe Soll. (WingSpan Press, 2007). ISBN 1595941355.
The English American, Larkin, Alison. Simon & Schuster, 2008.
The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood. (New York: Random House, Everyman’s Library, 2006). ISBN 0307264602.
A Ghost at Heart’s Edge, Ito, Susan and Tina Cervin. North Atlantic Books, 1999.
When Fenelon Falls, Dorothy Ellen Palmer, Coach House Books, 2011. ISBN 1552452395.
ASK 